SDA appointment is in the books

Today at 11, we had our SDA appointment (to obtain the referral allowing us to visit Dasha's orphanage).  It was brief, and simple.  She asked us to talk about ourselves, our family, and our reasons for wanting to adopt Dasha...all of you know these answers already, so I won't go into them again!:)

Then she pulled out Dasha's "file" which in reality was 1 piece of paper, full on the front and about 1/2 full on the back.  It had a picture of Dasha on it..maybe taken when she was between 5-8??  Ages are tough to determine here..kids look quite young.  She explained that Dasha has been in the orphanage since at least 2006, most likely before that...but they don't have the paperwork??  I don't understand...she explained her family situation, which was exactly what we'd been told months ago..nothing new there.  She explained that Dasha was considered "mentally retarded" and went on to say that she used to wet the bed quite frequently.  Now, this was a very nice woman..but let me tell you..the mom in me was dying to shout "stop talking about my daughter like this!" She is not an object..she is a person, a fragile little girl who has been cast away by those who should have loved her.  My eyes were full of tears as she talked about Dasha like she knew her..how dare she say these things, I thought?  After the appointment I calmed down, and realized that in actuality...this woman probably does know more about Dasha than I do...but Dasha is my daughter, and I am the one who loves her...so I really don't care what's "in her file."  It will never affect what's in my heart..if I could say that in Ukrainian...I would have done just that:)!  Let me clarify that this is not being written in anger...just the best way I know to portray my feelings, and give you a sense of this process.

We were able to travel downtown for our appointments this morning..I cannot figure Ukraine out.  The downtown area is actually really neat..comparable to Chicago...size and set-up.  Our facilitator explained that about 4 million people live in Kiev...it's huge!  Lots of shopping, and very neat buildings.  It appears that downtown is fairly well taken care of..we were told this is as civilized as Ukraine gets.  Take out the different language, and it's quite close to the USA...oh yeah, and the cobblestone roads are unique too:)

Tomorrow between 4-5pm we will pick up our referral, and board an overnight train to Simferopol...I don't know exactly how long this trip will take...I BELIEVE 11 hours...once we arrive there, we will travel by car to Dasha's region.  We will have to meet with directors and officials...and work on paperwork..but not too long after that we should be able to see our daughter!!  I am praying for Thursday..

Sometimes Al will look at me, or I will look at him...we just shake our heads in amazement that we are actually here..this is all becoming real..finally!  More and more, we feel just how blessed we are. 

Neither of us are feeling so great today..could be the different foods, or that we rinsed our toothbrushes in water (ok, that was only me bc I didn't believe Al that it would be that big of a deal..turns out he might be on to something)...we are hoping to get some rest to gear up for the rest of the trip..where we are now in Kiev...well this is as good as it gets in terms of accomodations and safety.  Honestly though, right now I feel like you could have me sleep on the sidewalk..I JUST WANT TO SEE OUR GIRL.

I feel like I already know what Dasha will sound like, smell like, look like, and feel like as I hold her.  How is it possible that a child I've never met has taken my heart and made it her own?  On that note, how is it possible that my one heart has been taken by 5 girls, and one amazing man?  And at the same time, my entire heart has been given to Jesus Christ....it is ONLY through God that this is possible, that's how.  If I were to look at this in a wordly manner..it would be overwhelming, it wouldn't make sense...but thank You Lord, it makes perfect sense to me..it is my life, and it's only because of You.