oh what a night

When I left the house tonight, I thought I was getting together with my girlfriends to celebrate Lindsay's 30th birthday..we did that, but I also received a surprise of my own.  About 20 minutes after I sat down, Al walked in with my amazing friend Heather (of a LONG TIME:)...they surprised me with an early birthday celebration because Al will be in Ukraine when I turn 30 (ewwww:).  Well...add another surprise to the night when Allie walks over (Publisher's Clearing House has NOTHING on her:) with this huge check to put toward the adoption.  I was sobbing in my hands once I realized what was happening, and Al (who only saw the side of the paperboard) thought they made me a giant birthday card (he was in on the bday surprise, but not the adoption $$)..so he thought I was a wacko for crying!!:)

I cannot believe how truly blessed we are to have such an amazing support team..you all blow us away with your thoughtfulness...your generosity is appreciated more than you will ever know, more than I could ever explain.

To my friends who organized this...I love you.  Friendship is not just a word, because of you all...it's a feeling that keeps me warm & fuzzy.  You each bring an element into my life that makes me want to be better, to do better.  Love you forever..

Thanks to all who participated in this...we love you, and we appreciate you!:)

here we go again, just laying it all out there!

We spoke with our facilitator Friday, and learned that financially this next trip is going to be much more than what we'd originally anticipated. Initially, Al and I freaked out and wondered how on earth what seemed like the impossible, would become possible.  We cleaned out our savings account and used up all of our bank/friends/family resources for loans and donations for the $37,000 portion of our adoption...no one planned for this second portion, we certainly did not plan on having to file an appeal.

I've re-contacted all of the adoption foundations that I did last fall...and even found some new organizations that I've applied to.  Since we need to leave August 7, planning a fundraiser right now might not be possible.

This trip will cost approximately $9,000.  This does NOT include Dasha's trip home.  It does NOT include any costs we will incur through her transportation to/from the orphanage, to the city where the hearing will be held.  It does NOT include our airline tickets, which PRAISE THE LORD have been taken care of by wonderful new friends we met through the network of Ukrainian adopting parents (thank you SO much, you are beyond appreciated)!

If you feel in your heart that you want to donate/loan to this adoption..thank God and thank YOU!  Contributions can be sent directly to OJM at 5106 Lover's Lane Portage, MI 49002 (make sure to write Dasha).  It will be tax deductible, and will be a part of what brings our daughter home.

We do not like asking for money..though since beginning this process, I am sure you're inclined to believe otherwise.:)  We have been praying, and asking God to show us the way..His way..to make this happen.  I have been very against making this public knowledge...but 30 minutes ago I got an overwhelming feeling that I needed to get it on our blog.  I know the Lord wants this adoption.  I know He created Dasha so that she would be our daughter..so if reaching out for help again will make it happen, I will absolutely do that.

Thank you so much for your support & prayers.

our appeal date

is August 10...we are very anxious for that day to arrive..

Most of the time, we are very confident that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.  We believe in God, and believe this is His plan...so it's reasonable to believe that His plan would triumph, right?

The scary thing is that sometimes, fear and doubt DO creep in.  The fact is, we were not expecting to have our first application to adopt denied.  It's also true that there were not any legal reasons for the denial...just opinions about our intentions.  So how do we explain to 3 new judges that Violet is our daughter?  How do we tell them that our intentions are just the same as what they are for her sisters...that we want her to feel secure, safe, and loved.  That we want her to know her self-worth, and let it guide her through high school and college graduations...through careers and relationships.  That we want to teach her how healthy relationships function & how mothers care for their children...she's not been shown these basic things that so many of us take for granted every day.  How do I make them see the wonderful gift Violet has in having my husband for a father?  They cannot come to our home, and watch us everyday...they cannot see how Al teaches our daughters independence and values.  They cannot see that he is instilling self confidence in them on an hourly basis...they know they are number 1 for their daddy..each of them...and I swear their eyes smile every time they see him.  How do I tell these judges that every time I look at ALL 5 of my daughters, I wonder how on earth people can say with a straight  face that there is no God??  Only God could create these perfect beings that I am lucky enough to call mine..

 I can write everything down that I want to...I can speak any words that I feel.  I can do these things until I am blue in the face...but in the end, our future as a family, and the fate of our daughter..it rests in the hands of 3 judges that don't know us, and only get MAYBE a few hours of face time.  They have 100s of papers about us, but it just isn't enough...I want them to KNOW us and see just how much we love Violet Dasha Littel.  I want this to be the easiest case they have ever had, because it is so unbelievably obvious!!

Several times a day, I think about what it will feel like to announce that legally, Violet is ours.  It is almost all-consuming..I get choked up every time, and I know that I am counting on this moment that may or may not happen..THAT is a scary thought.

The weekend of August 14, 2010...Violet (then Dasha:) became our daughter in our hearts.  Now, almost a year later, we are just praying that it becomes official in the legal system.