and it turns out those who came before us, and those who know the process..well, they were right.

I've hit a wall...we had a really nice morning together, and our time with Violet & the kids was wonderful.  The balls, jump ropes & frisbees were a huge hit...I mean HUGE.  So that was just a few hours ago...and here I am now in a totally different state.

I miss Gracie, Bella, Maddy & Kate so much I feel like my heart might burst.  I miss the smell of the tops of their heads..I miss Gracie's energy, Bella's humor, Maddy's smile & Kate's hugs...I miss my girls, I miss them SO much.  I am SO lucky to be able to spend my days with them..I long for the next few weeks to fly by so I can get back to that...

I miss seatbelts.
I miss being able to read a menu.
I miss feeling safe on walks (for the most part we do here, but tonight was an exception)
I miss feeling safe when police officers are near, not feeling like a target.
I miss my church.
I miss calls from my best friend when my mornings are at the complete busiest point (though to her credit, she said this last night "it is $4/minute for me to call you, but I don't even care."
I miss my family...parents, sister & brother..grandparents..especially my nieces & nephews.
I miss Lucy saying "DD house."
I miss The Sugar Bear
I MISS MY BED.
I miss my daycare kids
I miss milk
I miss my girls. I miss my girls. I miss my girls.
I miss my dog
I miss my Crazy Love group SOOOO much.
I miss smiles from strangers

I am sure I sound like a complainer...and I guess that's fair.  I will say that everything with Violet is going perfectly..in fact, much better than we ever imagined it to be this quickly..and I love her to absolute pieces.  I love the time we get to spend with her.  I am just ready for it to be at home, with our family complete.

Tonight Al and I are both really down..this is a hard night...it's hard to think about our babies at home..I hope they don't feel like we abandoned them..Please Lord, give them comfort and hug their hearts with our love.

I absolutely cannot wait to go home.