our appeal date

is August 10...we are very anxious for that day to arrive..

Most of the time, we are very confident that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.  We believe in God, and believe this is His plan...so it's reasonable to believe that His plan would triumph, right?

The scary thing is that sometimes, fear and doubt DO creep in.  The fact is, we were not expecting to have our first application to adopt denied.  It's also true that there were not any legal reasons for the denial...just opinions about our intentions.  So how do we explain to 3 new judges that Violet is our daughter?  How do we tell them that our intentions are just the same as what they are for her sisters...that we want her to feel secure, safe, and loved.  That we want her to know her self-worth, and let it guide her through high school and college graduations...through careers and relationships.  That we want to teach her how healthy relationships function & how mothers care for their children...she's not been shown these basic things that so many of us take for granted every day.  How do I make them see the wonderful gift Violet has in having my husband for a father?  They cannot come to our home, and watch us everyday...they cannot see how Al teaches our daughters independence and values.  They cannot see that he is instilling self confidence in them on an hourly basis...they know they are number 1 for their daddy..each of them...and I swear their eyes smile every time they see him.  How do I tell these judges that every time I look at ALL 5 of my daughters, I wonder how on earth people can say with a straight  face that there is no God??  Only God could create these perfect beings that I am lucky enough to call mine..

 I can write everything down that I want to...I can speak any words that I feel.  I can do these things until I am blue in the face...but in the end, our future as a family, and the fate of our daughter..it rests in the hands of 3 judges that don't know us, and only get MAYBE a few hours of face time.  They have 100s of papers about us, but it just isn't enough...I want them to KNOW us and see just how much we love Violet Dasha Littel.  I want this to be the easiest case they have ever had, because it is so unbelievably obvious!!

Several times a day, I think about what it will feel like to announce that legally, Violet is ours.  It is almost all-consuming..I get choked up every time, and I know that I am counting on this moment that may or may not happen..THAT is a scary thought.

The weekend of August 14, 2010...Violet (then Dasha:) became our daughter in our hearts.  Now, almost a year later, we are just praying that it becomes official in the legal system.